For the mommas in the trenches


Ever had one of those days where pooping in privacy is like a vacation? Or brushing your teeth at the same time as your husband to the melodic sound of your 3 three year old’s temper tantrum down the hall is like a date? (Now, that’s ambiance.) Where your (bi-weekly) shower only being interrupted by one earth shattering (and ear bud shattering) “emergency” makes you feel like you have just been to the spa? Of course you have. You are a mom. (And why are all three of these scenarios based in the bathroom? Not sure, except that maybe it is because the bathroom is my sanctuary. And no, I don’t want to think too deeply about what this says about me.)

We have all had those days. But even though we have all had them, and are most likely living that day right now, it can be all to easy to feel alone. So Momma in the trenches, I want you to know I am with you. I am you.

To the mom who prays for patience not to lose her temper with the 66,000th act of disobedience before lunch- I am with you.

To the mom who prays for forgiveness after she has lost her temper AGAIN before lunch-I am with you.

To the mom who looks at the smear on her pants and can’t figure out what kind of bodily fluid it is-I am with you.

To the mom canceling her plans  because the kids are sick again-I am with you.

To the mom reading the same story for the 11th time today-I am with you.

To the mom who wants to grab a garbage bag and just throw away every last piece of plastic food, Barbie shoe and Lego duplo-I am with you.

To every mom who just wants to punch someone in the face when you look outside in mid April as the walls are creeping in around you, the natives are closing in, and you see it is raining (or snowing) again-I am with you. Let’s have a playdate.

To the mom who won’t allow her son to call her a “bloser” even though he doesn’t know what it means (what DOES it mean?), who gives up and lets her kids have ice-cream for dinner, who won’t let her toddler eat dog food or play in the street, and who can’t get the Frozen soundtrack out of her head (and it is even playing at church…what?!!!)-I am with you.

To the mom who hides behind the lens of her camera and screams “Smile! Just give me a nice smile! Just look at the camera for goodness sakes! Act Happy!! AHHHHH!!!”-I am with you.

To the mom who hears incessant nagging for a snack 30 seconds after breakfast ends or incessant tattling that so and so hit them 100 times and looked at them with silly eyes-I am with you.

To the mom on the phone making the stink eye and arm motioning like an air traffic controller at the interrupting kids while maintaining the sweetest possible tone with the customer service rep in India-I am with you.

To the mom who wonders when her house turned into the little tykes aisle at Toys-r-us or an episode of Hoarders-I am with you. Stop by my house any Monday, Tuesday…heck, any day of the week and you will feel better about yours.

To the mom who sits like a dog by the door waiting for her husband to come in from work-I am with you. Peter really can’t stand it when I jump all over his work pants and slobber all over him. Wait…that came out wrong. I was going for the dog metaphor. Oh forget it.

To every mom who has more plastic spoons than silver ones, but somehow every last one of them is dirty in the dishwasher and the kids are screaming like they have not been fed in 6 months-I am with you.

To the mom who has to be ready to answer every question under the sun, including “Mommy, does God tell us in the Bible not to put our fingers in our butt hole?”-I am with you. And if you can come up with an answer without laughing, shaking your head in sheer disgust or looking at your child like they just sprouted a third eye-props, mad props.

To the mom who battles thoughts that everyone’s kid is better behaved than theirs, smarter than theirs, better dressed than theirs, more polite than theirs and thinks every other mother must be doing a better job than they are-I am with you. Read my blog. It will make you feel better.

To the mom who has more dirty dishes in the sink than she got hours of sleep last night-I am with you.
To the mom who has considered putting an ad up on Craigslist-“IHA 1 nasty tempered toddler. Give me your best offer”-I am with you. Just me? Okay, cool. Maybe pray for me then.

To every mom who wishes time would just stand still (they grow up so fast!) but the next moment wonders why the clock never moves-I am with you.

To every mom who goes to bed at night and swears tomorrow she will get it right. And every mom who knows she can’t do it by her own strength. And every mom who dissects things and over-thinks things and researches things and asks for advice and tries to improve herself and never stops being preoccupied with parenting right, because it matters too much to get it wrong-I am with you.

To every mom who knows she lost the battle but is determined to win the war-I am with you.

To the mom who would never trade her “job”, loves her kids more than she can put into words, but desperately needs a haircut and a girls’ night-I am with you.

To the mom who works for more than just behavior modification but rather heart transformation-I am with you. It is hard work.

To every mom who will sneak upstairs to cry when it just gets to be too much-I with you.

To every mom who feels lonely even though she is constantly surrounded by noise and demands-I am with you.

To every mom who thinks “I can’t do this” but clings onto Philippians 4:13 –I am with you.

I don’t know if if makes you feel any better to know that I totally get what you are living. It might at least help to see that I am probably more crazy and have worse hygiene than you, right?
It is always nice to know that someone can relate. I secretly, and sometimes not so secretly, like to hear stories of other frazzled moms and sometimes naughty or gross kids because it lets me know I am not alone. But you know what is even better than hearing a fellow mom say “I am with you”. Hearing God say it. So on days like today or moments where I want to rip my hair out (or just walk out) I mediate on what this really means when I read:

“He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.”
Isaiah 40:11
So mom, I am with you. And God is with us. I hope that the knowledge and experience of God taking special care of those that have young means more than a thousand “dittos” from me. I am praying for us today. I am praying that we will be encouraged that what we are doing matters for eternity, that fitting perfectly into our skinny jeans is not the be all and end all of existence, and that we would rest in the care and gentle leading of our Shepherd. Hang in there Momma-He is with you.

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