I have already documented Hayleigh’s birthday on the blog. Braxton’s is coming. I am a little behind. It also means these photos in this post are out of chronological order. A no-no for me. I actually sat down intending this to be a post about B’s 3rd birthday but it morphed into something else. So instead of terrorize future Braxton with my emotional and clingy ramblings, I decided to let this post go where it will. I prefer to terrorize my kids by forcing my love and affection on them in person, thank you, not as much in my writing…maybe…kinda. So, B’s birthday summary post is coming some time before he turns 4 (oh gosh, 4! ah! make it stop!). And this post is, well, whatever this post turns out to be.
The other day it was a balmy 46 degrees. A regular heat wave. We actually went outside for a walk that lasted longer than around the block (or if I am being honest around the mini-van as I scream, shiver and buckle wiggly bodies into their harnesses). We wore light jackets. Light jackets. You know winter coat 2.0.. The things we get to wear for about 3 weeks out of the year in Fall and Spring (otherwise known as pre and post winter, the book end seasons.) In Rochester the appropriate weather for a light jacket is anything about 40 degrees and anything below 48 degrees. Once it reaches 49 people wear shorts and t shirts. And once it reaches 49 degrees for more than 3 days in row people open their pools. And once it reaches 49 degrees for more than a week in a row people complain about the heat. Rochestarians. Anyway, it was 46 degrees, light coat weather, basically a tropical island. We look a nice, long walk. The kids played outside without being so bundled up in “snow gear” that we had roll them where they wanted to go. Despite the fact that there was still somewhere between 3-6 inches of snow on the ground it felt downright tropical. I mean Hayleigh did see a few patches of grass which prompted her to nearly hyperventilate with excitement as she shouted that it was “almost green!” As we walked we smelled hotdogs and hamburgers on the grill. We saw people sitting out in lawn chairs (in the almost green spots). I kid not.
It got me thinking about perspective. I mean when 46 degrees feels like such a heat wave that the neighbors are grilling in t-shirts and you take your 15 month old out for an hour long walk in just a hoodie, perspective is clearly in play. To one of those people from California (not sure I have ever actually met one of those people) 46 degrees is a Tundra. Perspective.
Because I like to over-think everything, I decided to stretch this line of thinking just a tad further. I decided to apply it to my present situation. I can chose to bemoan the fact that my kids are growing up, and try as I might I can’t stop it. (Just wait for the baby cow house prototype though. Its a comin’.) Or I can revel in the moments that I have. Savor them. Store them away in my heart. Write them down. Snap some pictures. But mostly just let them absorb into my being and with a sigh know they are fleeting, but the joy they bring me is not.
I can chose to dwell on the heartache our family is going through. I can chose to look at my dad and see what is already gone. Or I can chose to see all that he still has, all that we still have by having him here. I can see the amazing opportunity we have to say good-bye with no regrets. And I can stop being paralyzed and hiding away from the storm of life. I can actually live these days with no regrets.
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 5:6-11