staying in the present

God has used my kids to help reveal to me a little about what I mentioned in my last post about having conflicting emotions. He has used them to teach me that I can be very sad about something, and that is okay. It is not a sin to mourn. But in my sadness I can still have great joy. For so long, maybe because of my propensity for Depression, I have tried to rid myself of negative emotions, or feeling down. When I can’t fight it anymore I tend to just give into it and feel guilty. God is telling me that it is okay to be sad. It is okay to allow myself to feel and to process. He is telling me that I don’t have to stop being sad to be joyful.  I can experience His joy in the midst of my sadness. His joy won’t erase my human emotions to a fallen world, but His joy gives me hope and peace.

I am reminded of His joy no more than when I look at my kids. They keep me in the present moment and that is truly a gift. Yesterday being in the present meant taking advantage of Peter’s day off from work and frolicking in the 20 degree weather until we couldn’t feel our extremities.

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