Joy and Sorrow
I have typically been someone who sees things as black and white with very few shades of grey….not the book. I am talking about metaphorical colors here. Lately life and God have been stretching me and I am realizing some things that my view of life had not encompassed yet. (Side note: Sorry if anyone was offended by my last post! My intent was not to isolate people. I hope you understand.)
One thing that I am beginning, really just baaaarrreeellllyyyy beginning to understand, is how someone can have two conflicting emotions at the same time. I am learning that I can feel great sadness but still have great joy. I can be completely weak and still be completely strong (in God’s strength). I can be unsure about the future and still be at peace. These are gifts I can have only because of my relationship with God. People, I am a mess. I could never accomplish any form of mental/emotional health, success or true fruits of the Spirit without the Spirit in me. Just ask Peter, I can’t even make pancakes that aren’t soupy in the middle, much less get my emotional crap together on my own. I am still trying to figure it all out in the day to day, moment to moment. But through the trials I know God has been preparing me and teaching me. I don’t have many things figured out, but I know in the midst of chaos, I can be calm. When I feel like nothing is sacred I know Who to trust. I can feel sorrow with every ounce of my physical body and still my soul can have inexplicable joy.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9