Staying up past our bedtime

The other night the light was right after an evening walk (and it wasn’t like 100% humidity) so we stayed outside to play-the kids with their toys and me with my camera. I really enjoy taking their pictures even though the more I learn the more I learn I have so much left to learn. Sometimes it isn’t about getting the perfect picture quality, but perfectly capturing who they are.

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(Man, I love my kids' eyes…and cheeks, definitely love those kissable, 3D cheeks.)

After all they are my favorite only subjects and I don’t think I will look back and notice my camera settings being on or off, but I will look back and remember with joy and nostalgia when they used to make that face, or wonder what was going on behind those eyes or let my brain be flooded with the sounds of their laughter.

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These moments are sweet and fleeting. All to often I am too distracted to notice. I fluctuate between distraction and pre-mature nostalgia where I mourn the loss of tomorrow’s tomorrow. Sometimes I need to audibly remind myself to be present in the moment. That is something kids are fantastic at and I want to soak up more of that from them.

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They don’t always need me to be a chauffer, chef, accountant, maid, interior designer, stylist, referee, personal shopper, secretary, or self-appointed therapist. Sometimes they just need their mommy-me in my rawest form. It isn’t always easy, or possible, to drop everything that I am juggling (in my hands and my head) but when I do- those are the moments I want to remember. Those are the moments that I feel the most joy. Those are the moments I feel the most fulfilled. And I think it is because I am doing what God made me to do.

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There are few sweeter words than when I hear my Hayleigh-Girl say “Thank you for filling me up with love, Mommy.” I am not sure if I want to hear those words more often, or less often because I fill her up so regularly that it doesn’t warrant a special thank you. Either way, I don’t want to wait for the perfect light to see my kids the way God sees them or to be the person God calls me to be for them.

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