Not home yet…

I have been in a bit of a funk lately…feeling uninspired, unmotivated, exhausted, down, grumpy, discontent. Maybe you know the routine. Anyway, I started feeling myself finally coming out of it the past few days. (Maybe a little thanks to pharmaceuticals is an order). I am feeling more motivated to create, finally! Now, hopefully I can find the time to get stuff done!  I also heard a song on the radio today that really grabbed me. The lyrics made total sense to me. It is called “Where I belong” by Building 429

Sometimes it feels like I'm watching
From the outside
Sometimes it feels like I'm breathing
But am I alive?
I will keep searching for answers
That aren't here to find
All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.
I think Depression and being tempted to be overly driven by emotions will always be a struggle I have to battle against, my “thorn in the flesh” so to speak. It is a nice reminder that that is how it is supposed to be this side of heaven. I am not meant to be completely comfortable and fulfilled here on earth. I am not saying by any means that my struggles compare to those of other people. Many people suffer much, much worse hardships than I will ever taste. But for me in the midst of my trivial, but sometimes consuming, struggles this reminder was just what I needed.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. “ 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Also, although random, this is my 100th post!  Yay!


  1. Love you friend... I LOVE that song. It can be our anthem. :) Depression is horrible, but I've come to the point where I think about how amazing it will be to be in heaven and not have to worry about that monster creeping in. It's just another example how He can use something awful for His glory... to show us that one day He will wipe it all away!


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